First Day of Camp and Dumb A$$e$

Today was our Munchkins first day of summer camp.

Come August, he will be starting pre-school, so we thought it made perfect sense to enroll him in summer camp at the pre-school so he could become familiar with the campus and the routine.

Today could have gone one of two ways.

First option, a horrible tearful disaster.

Second option, a horrible tearful disaster.

I kid.


First option, includes our munchkin crying and having major separation anxiety when I try to leave him at camp in the hands of strangers.

Second option includes me, the grown woman and Mama, crying and having separation anxiety as I try to leave him there, at camp in the hands of complete strangers.

Luckily, neither of the two options I visioned in my head is actually how the morning played out.  Surprisingly, it went pretty smoothly…very smoothly…eriely smoothly.

Dear lord, please let the rest of the week go the same way!

This morning, we woke up, got dressed and ready and headed out the door as we normally would.  Only this time, in tow, we had a packed lunch for our little camper, and his new cute-as-hells-bells pre-school embroidered back-pack that I ordered from Pottery Barn kids.

I actually let the munchkin pick out his backpack.  He had the option of 4 different “patches” to add to his backpack to personalize it a tad more than the standard, plain one.  He had the choice of a truck, a baseball, a football, and a dinosaur.  I just KNEW he’d choose the truck, so when he said, “I want a basketball!” I almost fell off my chair. 

Unfortunately, basketball wasn’t even an option, so I informed him he’d have to make another selection. 

So there we were, back to the drawing board.  I knew “truck!” was about to fly out of his mouth, when all of a sudden he excitedly screamed, “BASEBALL! I want the baseball.”

I probably asked him 10 times if he was SURE.  He assured me he was.  So I added the baseball patch to our cart, went thru the checkout process, and it was on its way to us in days.

When the package arrived, he was by my side ready to rip it open.  When I excitedly handed him his personalized backpack, he looked at me with the straightest, most serious face and asked, “Why didn’t you get me the football one?”

I can’t win. 

Anyways, we headed off to school with all of the necessary items tucked nicely inside his new backpack, equip with a BASEBALL patch.

On the way to school, I was talking up his camp and trying to prep him for being dropped off.

“You’re going to have so much fun at your school today!”

“You’re going to meet so many friends, and play on the playground!”

“I bet you will do cool art projects, and play with all of the toys with your new friends!”

Then my little church camper looked at me from his toy he had fumbling in his hands, and mumbled something…

I wasn’t sure if I heard him correctly, so I asked him to repeat.

Then, I had a heart attack.

I’m not sure where he heard it, but he repeated the phrase I thought I had just heard… “dumb-asses.”  The phrase spewed out of his mouth like he was 21 years old talking to his BFF about the kids at the movies dressed in Starwars costumes.

I had to think fast, and try my hardest not to laugh.  It really wasn’t funny…well, maybe just a teensy weensy bit.

I explained, in a harsh tone, that “those words were adult words, and kids couldn’t say them.”

I told him that he would get in BIG trouble at school if he said that, and that is wasn’t nice and WASN’T ALLOWED.

He looked at me seriously, and said, “kids can’t say those words, ‘dumb asses’?  Only adults?”

“Correct,” I responded.  ONLY adults.

Seriously, I don’t even know where he heard this phrase.  I’m no angel, and I’ve been known to drop a few profanity’s every now and again, but “dumb ass” isn’t really in my rotation of bad words.  I’m more of a quick four letter word profanity dropper. 

I definitely do my best to not say these things around Will.  The only thing I can think of is television, or conversations he hears, but isn’t necessarily a part of.  Obviously, we really need to be much more careful, and monitor the television shows- even if it isn’t something he directly watches.

So now, to add additional anxiety to my morning, I get to worry that he could go to school and repeat this new phrase he’s picked up.

Awesome, just what I needed.  One more thing to stress about!

Drop-off went smooth.  I got there early, so I could hang with him for a bit in his classroom.  He comfortably played with toys and met his teacher.  When other kids started showing up, I informed him that I would be going to work soon and I’d be back to pick him up later.  I kissed him and hugged him, told him to be a good boy and prompted him to go play with the other kids.  After a couple of minutes, I motioned to the teacher that I was going to make my exit.  She told me that she thought he would be fine, as he didn’t seem to be phased.  She also told me that I could call to check in if I wanted…I think she could sense my anxiety.

So, there you have it.  I grabbed my keys, headed out of the classroom, and walked to my car.  I didn’t even cry.

I said a little prayer to myself that he wasn’t crying – I could just picture him looking around expecting to see me, and realizing that I wasn’t there.  Then he’s there by himself, in a place he doesn’t know, and with people he doesn’ t know and he’s crying. 

Luckily, this wasn’t the case!  Whew!!

As soon as I pulled out of the parking lot, proud of myself for not loosing it, my mind suddenly went back to his naughty little phrase.

So I said another prayer, “dear lord, please don’t let him utter those words again.”

I waited until precisely 10:30 AM to call and check in. 

Yes, they probably have a star by my name in the office as an overbearing, worrier parent.

All was well. 

I counted down the minutes until it was time for me to go pick him up.  I would have given anything to be a fly on the wall observing his first day at camp.

Did he make friends?  Was he talkative?  Was he shy? Did he share?  Did he listen?  I wanted answers to all of these questions…and more!

When I arrived to pick him up, I sat at the door peeping thru the glass window.  He looked like he was having the best time!

Instant relief!

When some of the other Mom’s arrived and walked right into the room, I didn’t want them to think I was some crazy lady in the hallway stalking the kids from outside of the door, so I finally went in.

Will was SUPER excited to see me, and immediately started telling me all about his day.

“Mama, I walked in a line like this (and he put his arms behind his back)”  – I guess this is how they walk in lines

Then he told me all about how he played on the playground, decorated bubbles, did “projects,” played with toys, made friends, and watched a dog movie during nap.

We loaded up his gear, and his teacher gave me a glowing report.  She said he couldn’t have done any better on his first day.  She said he went with the flow, he listened, he helped, he ate his lunch, and was just wonderful.

I did a little victory dance in my head, and took a big sigh of relief.

She went on to tell me that, “He didn’t ever fall asleep during nap time, but he quietly stayed on his mat and watched a movie.” 

They had to have tranquilized my child for nap time.  There is no way he laid on a mat with other children around and new toys all around him.  I think she may be pulling my leg on this part!

With a glowing report, and an empty lunch box and BASEBALL backpack in hand, we exited the building and loaded up in the car.  Of course, I continued to ask him about his day.  He answered excitedly.

Then out of no where, he informed me that, “I didn’t say those adult words at school, Mama.”

This again?!…I was praying he forgot!

I thanked him, and sternly reminded him that those were adult words, and that he would be in big trouble if he repeated them.  Then I changed the subject.