Daddy’s Boss

I’ll file this one under, “kids say the darnest things”…..

Today, as I was cleaning up the kitchen after lunch I asked Will to pick up his toys from the living room. 

Of course, in response to my request he asked me, “why?”

This is a pretty standard response for him lately, and it is starting to drive me crazy.

I glared at him and I responded in the best way I could think of at the time.  I said, “because I’m the boss, that’s why.”

Great comeback, right? 

Then after contemplating that for a few seconds, my little angel looked at me and said, as serious as can be, “You’re not my boss, you are Daddy’s boss.”

Trying not to laugh, I resonded to that comment with a, “In some ways you are very correct, but what you need to know is that I’m YOUR boss, too!”  Now go pick up your toys!”

And as quick as I could, I leaped for the pantry to take cover so he couldn’t see me laughing at the fact that he says I’m, “Daddy’s boss.”

I’m sure Wes will think this story is just hysterical! 

For now, I’m just going to bask in all my bossy glory. 

I’m going to pour a glass of wine, and give myself a little toast.

The Boss of everyone,

EmJ

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Don’t Flush

Dearest Will,

Tonight I enjoyed playing word games with you on my iPad.  I loved that you ate every bite of your dinner, and kept your father and I laughing thru the whole meal by doing your eyebrow raise and saying funny things.

I love that when I tried working with you on your “c” sounds, you strongly came back at me with the confident “t” sound.  I would said, “Car, K-K-K Car.”  You proudly responded, “Tar, Mama.  I said it, Tar!”

I love that when you announced you had to poop and you headed off to the bathroom to go, I asked you to call me when you were ready to be wiped.  You responded to my request with, “That’s a great idea, Mama.”

Son, I love you so much, I really do.  But when you fake cried for 15 minutes because I flushed the potty after your poop session, and you LOST it because YOU wanted to flush down your poops…there are no words to describe those feelings. 

Consider this your notice.  I will NEVER flush your poops again.  You can be the only one in charge of that.

Love,

Your loving Mama

Really?!

My husband = wonderful.

Seriously, he is a wonderful father, a great husband, an extremely hard worker and the love of my life.

I even think he’s hot.  Still.  After 100 years of dating and 4 years of marriage, I STILL think my husband is a good-looking, hot individual.

See…

I even know that my husband is intelligent.  The triple threat; Good looking, smart, great father, and a hard worker! 

(Is that 4 things?…does that make him a quad-thread?) 

Anyway…

Even triple threats sometimes have lapses in judgement.  I get it.  I too, sometimes bring a little less than my A game. 

It’s ok.  It happens, right?

Well, the following story happened.  And as I think my triple-threat is somewhat embarrassed by the events that I am about to unfold to you; I just can’t resist sharing. 

So here goes…

Friday night, the Friday night before my big test, I was confined to the office studying my brains out. 

My Triple-Threat, was in charge of the munchkin.  The potty-training munchkin, who is finishing up week 1 of strictly big-boy underwear.

As I am studying, I hear the TV on…re-runs of NCIS (my triple threat’s favorite).  I also hear my ipad blaring a sight-word spelling game, then Dora, then Talking Tom Cat, then Dora, then Wonderpets, then Dora. 

My munchkin switches between apps about every 3 minutes.  His attention span allows for concentration on one thing for approximately 3 minutes and then it is onto the next.

At about 9PM sharp, I hear my Triple Threat tell our munchkin that it is bath time and I hear the movement of removing himself from the couch begin.  I hear him get up from the couch and make his way to our munchkin’s bathroom, to presumably, start the bath water.

This is where it gets interesting.

The next spoken words I hear, are, “WILL!  Did you poop in your big boys?!”

We call Will’s big boy underwear, “big-boys.”  It’s just our thing.

Then I hear, “ohhhh, Will.  Come here.  Come here right now!”

Yes, folks.  I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

Apparently, my triple threat walked into our munchkins bathroom, to discover that he:

  1. had a Number Two accident 
  2. removed his soiled underwear
  3.  left the, aforementioned soiled underwear on the floor in his bathroom, and then
  4. continued out to the living room, naked, where my triple threat was relaxing and watching his favorite TV show, and played with MY ipad for approximately 20 minutes.

It wasn’t until bath-time, that this whole debacle was realized.

As I heard this unfold, I couldn’t help but to feel my face get red with anger.

I mean, is Abby and the NCIS gang all that interesting, that you don’t realize your only child has dropped a deuce in his pants, removed them, and then shown back up in the living room, dirty-bottomed, and sans underwear?!

I love you, honey!  But, REALLY?!

-EmJ

Ready. Set. Go!

I’ve dabbled a bit in blogging, but I found, like a lot of other things in my life I hit the ground running while quickly letting the commitment slide. Life just has a funny way of getting in the way.

Who am I?

I am a woman, hear me roar!

I’m kidding.

Who am I really? – I am a woman who is rapidly approaching thirty. I am a full-time wife, mother, maid, chauffeur, accountant, cook, decorator, party planner, home manager and employee. Sometimes I find it is hard to balance all of these “jobs” in my life, and when I struggle is usually when things get a little interesting. I’ll be honest – I struggle a lot, BUT I have learned to improvise in the hard times, and when needed I:

  • Drink a glass bottle of wine.
  • Escape to my happy place – my king size bed with soft bedding and multiple feather pillows, my ipad in one hand and a glass of wine in the other, the TV set to E! network and, wait for it…a delicious bottle of red wine, un-corked and resting peacefully on my nightstand ready to fulfill my need for a refill.
  • Break down in tears.
  • A combination of any, or all of the above.

In my previous blog, which MIGHT have had 12 posts in a years time; I didn’t write about anything in particular – and chances are I won’t in this blog either.

Truth is, I just like to write.

I wish I was better at it, and I wish I had more time for it; to practice, to master, to work on my grammar.

Maybe one day.

I have no readers at this point, and I don’t anticipate having any readers, much less dedicated followers…but if you happen to stumble upon my blog and start reading, please don’t count on being thoroughly impressed by my writing capabilities, my witty humor, or my life-like story telling capabilities. Chances are, my posts will be pretty life-less and boring. I’m just counting on this ole’ blog to be a creative outlet to get me through some of the monotony of day-to-day life.  I also needed a hobby, and this one comes pretty cheap.  Consider this your official warning – this blog might suck!

Besides needing a hobby and a creative outlet, another big reason for this blog is the simple fact that it will help me recall stories and events that I might otherwise forget. Kind of like a baby book, but for my adult life. After all, I am quickly approaching the big THREE-O. It is very possible that the Alzheimer’s will be kicking in soon…it could happen, right?

So with that all being said…Ready. Set. Go!

I’m starting fresh; with a new blog address,a blank canvas and a stong desire to keep this hobby going strong.

If you read my blog, awesome. If you don’t read it, screw you no worries. There are far more interesting things out there in the blog world, I’m 110% sure of that.

Till Next Time,

I’m reaching for a refill.

-EmJ